I wan you to play with my Yao Ming-a ling-a ling

Yao Ming is tall, even for a basketball player, but his handsomness is questionable at best.

Apparently the director of the award winning documentary Shark Water asked

him to be involved in a campaign to help end the senseless destruction of sharks by blackmarket asian pirates and he was all like, "yes indeedy" but you know, in Chinese.
Who better than an Asian icon to help spread the word to his country folk about why shark fin soup is so wrong, right? Wrong.

Turns out shark fin soup is "good for the man."
Mingy, the tall, ball-bouncing bastard that he is, couldn't handle NOT serving the CUSTODIAN OF THE OCEAN as an appetizer to 400 of his closest jerks at his wedding.

All I want to know is WHERE was this guy?


NO SHARK FIN SOUP FOR YOU!
Yao Ming is the winner of the TALL BUT NOT EVEN REMOTELY HANDSOME ON THE OUTSIDE OR INSIDE AWARD of the month. Suddenly he seems really small....

Tall and Handsome Awards

The Oscar is definitely the tallest and most handsome of all the self-congratulatory statues that smarmy millionaires can recieve once a year for portraying two dimensional characters in shitty rehashes of classic films.

Here's what you missed cuz you were doing something better:

Sean Penn might be the only actor that matters. Even if the rest of it was the same old shlock it was worth watching just to see this "tall and handsome on the inside" genius kick ass and say something meaningful. If you don't like Sean Penn I hope he punches you in the kisser.

Tall and Handsome Kicks

Himalayas-ain't no mountain tall and handsome enough?

The world's tallest and most handsome mountain range is also the most deadly...coincidence?

Apparently they're not so tall and handsome that they can keep Marvin Gaye from getting to Tami Terrell? I find that hard to believe. I'm not calling Marvin Gaye a liar but I don't even think he ever owned any crampons.

Tall and handsome person of the week

Though there is an element of douchebaggery going on here this friendly fro-giant is our tall person of the week. With his 12ft wing span and tiny asian girl torso he really has it made in the shade. That's why he has a permanent backstage pass around his next. Everyone wants to let him into the gig because he's good for a circus-freak-style laugh and can do basketball tricks like a Harlem Globetrotter.

Giraffe (love) Attack

It's Valentine's Day. A day when even the tallest and most majestic land mammal of them all wants to tap that ass.

Tall and Handsome on the inside

Recently someone asked me if I thought it was possible to be vertically challenged and still be tall and handsome. The answer is simply, yes. Being tall and handsome is as much a state of mind as it is a physical actuality. One of the best examples of a person who is tall and handsome on the inside is Carlton from TV's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

While Will Smith is quite tall physically he has become such an egomaniacal dink over the past years that he has actually shrunk right before our eyes. Last I heard Will Smith was only 2.5 ft tall and not very handsome at all. Word is he shrunk right after the Barbara Walters interview where he claimed he could be the president of the USA if he wanted ..he just didn't want to.

Carlton would never do this. All Carlton wants to do is dance and wear polo shirts and help people. He shines like a lighthouse from the inside. That is why he is the first honourary Tall and Handsome on the inside person of the month!

Below is the interview that Barbara Walters did with Will Smith. She also talked to Michael Phelps. He's not that tall or handsome to a lot of people right now but I still think he's rad, bong or not.

Tall and Handsome buildings of the world

THC theme song

The Handsome Family wrote a tribute song about Robert Wadlow, one of the tallest men who ever lived. They're handsome. He's tall. 

T. Rex (the T does NOT stand for tall)

This fella looks pissed.

You would be too if you were constantly living in the shadow of that statuesque drink of water the Brontosaurus.

Imagine you come home from a long day at Jurassic Park. You just mauled another annoying paleontologist and he gave you indigestion plus your boss is all like "MORE CARNAGE, MORE CARNAGE" and you feel like telling that prick off but you bite your tongue and obviously it bleeds, you know, cuz your teeth are razor sharp. Basically it's another bad day. All you want to do is have a beer and hit the sack but you can't because there he is- your neighbour. Look at him standing there, glistening in the sun, eating the leaves off the top of the tree and getting all the chicks. His pad is better than yours, his clothes are better (well they would be if dinosaurs wore clothes), hell even his kids are better.

He's a constant reminder of your inadequacies and all he did was be tall and handsome.

So you go over and make a meal out of his family. Mostly because it's instinctual but also kind of cuz you have small

dinosaur syndrome.

It just goes to show you that the struggle of the tall and handsome has been going on for millions of years.

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

The Gallagher brothers aren't super tall but they made up for it with this amazing album title.

This is arguably the worst album Oasis ever made but I'm not worried about it because I'm so tall I'm actually above the suck. You can stand on my shoulders to get away from it if you want. 

Tall and handsome people unite!

Wow. These people sure look happy don't they? Look again.

  

What you don't see is the hurt that gentleman feels on the inside. It's the pain of thousands of years of persecution. The persecution of the tall and handsome.

And it ends here.

If you've ever had to duck while walking through a door, you've found a home.

If you've ever had to purchase a slim fit shirt, this is the place for you.

If you've ever seen your reflection in a window and fallen deeply and madly in love, you are among friends.

It's time to take a stand. No longer will we be denied our right to be tall and handsome. 

Welcome to the Tall and Handsome Club. Our slogan is " We sit on the short."

Handsomely yours,

A tall person (who is also handsome)